“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy…”
~Pema Chodron
This quote came up on my Instagram feed yesterday. It seemed so appropriate. This has been a difficult year for our family, multiple deaths, critical illnesses, surgeries, life changes. We have been inundated with challenges and experiences that we cannot fix or escape. It’s like being on a roller coaster you can’t get off. Very overwhelming. The natural reaction is to numb, numb all the emotions.
Numbing is not the answer. If we hope to heal and move forward, we have to honor what we are feeling. Take it out and look at it. I see you grief. I notice you misery. I recognize you joy even in the midst of deep sorrow. Just don’t dwell too long in those emotions or you can get stuck.
Let there be room for all of your emotions, both the good and the bad. Let there be room to let them go, too. You make room for new emotions when you let the ones you’ve acknowledged go.
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 tells us that “For everything there is a season, a time for every matter under heaven…” We are meant to experience grief and sorrow at certain times in our lives. It strengthens our relationship with God. It helps us recognize the value in our relationships. It softens our hearts and deepens our compassion for others.
I remember a Switchfoot song titled “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine.” Only when we experience the deep, dark night of the soul do we truly appreciate the sunrise in the morning. Don’t try to numb your feelings. Find someone who can walk alongside you in your darkness. If necessary, find a professional to help you. It’s worth it.
We grieve and embrace sorrow for now, but joy will come in the morning. No matter the outcome there will be joy again. There will be laughter. There will also be tears and pain and sorrow. It's all part of living.
Let there be room today for every bit of it, my lovelies. Let there be room.